Surprise me...

It has been quite a while since I've been able to say that Andy's been making steps forward in his verbal communication.  As you know he's been at a plateau or even a regression the past few months.  However, there have been some amazing surprises in the past few weeks since I've learned to have a little more patience.

Almost two weeks ago I went into Andy's school to spend some one on one time observing and supporting his staff.  I had my suspicions that he wasn't showing his true potential and abilities at school (which turned out to be correct).  We've started introducing him to a new program called Handwriting Without Tears and we were focussing on the letter "L" to start.  Andy's EA mentionned that she'd been showing him the letter "H" earlier that day but she didn't think he'd been paying attention.  I said that I thought it'd be best that we just focussed on one letter at a time. 

Imagine my surprise when Andy picked up the magnetics and formed the most beautiful "H" we'd ever seen!

Earlier this week I was getting the kid's breakfast and wanted to know what fruit Andy wanted to have.  I help up a banana and a pear asking Andy "Do you want a banana or pear?".  Banana is a familiar word to Andy so I assumed that'd be his answer. 

Imagine my surprise when Andy said "Pear".

Thursday when I got home from work it was almost 8pm and I was exhausted with a pounding headache.  As I walked in the garage door I heard "Mommy!".  In my head I was wondering what Emily was doing up so late. 

Imagine my surprise when I realised it was Andy that said "Mommy!".

I blogged last week that I'd started to implement dance parties.  We've continued our new activity almost every day this week.  It's become a quickly adopted favourite family activity.  We even put out a special 'dance mat' in the middle of the floor to give us a focal point to do some spins and stomps.  Two days ago I turned the tv off to have our little dance party and Andy started to bawl at not getting his way.

Imagine my surprise when he stopped crying the moment the music went on and he broke into a big smile realizing it was time to DANCE!

It's so nice to be surprised...I look forward to many more.

JK part 5 - The land of IPRC and IEP

John and I just got home from Andy's IPRC meeting.

IPRC stands for it's "Identification, Placement and Review Committee".  IPRC is a committee of school personnel who in consultation with parents and the student determine whether the student is exceptional and which educational placement is most appropriate to address the student's needs (as per the IPRC Guide for Parents the School Board provided).

In layman terms this means that although Andy has an official diagnosis of Autism from a doctor the School Board themselves still have to officially recognize his needs as it pertains to his education.  So as of today, Andy's been identified as EXCEPTIONAL (as if they had to tell us that lol) in the area of Communication due to Autism.

Now that we have this identification we will continue working with the staff of Andy's school to build his IEP.  

IEP means Individual Education Plan.  Thirty days after the determination by an IPRC that a student is exceptional, an IEP is developed by school personnel in consultation with the parents.  The IEP outlines the educational plan that is in place to address the student's needs.  Information regarding the necessary accommodations, modifications to grade level expectations, and resources required is included in the IEP.  (once again as outlines in the same Parent Guide)

We will have the chance to take part in writing this IEP with Andy's school.  It's really an incredible opportunity as a parent to be involved in your child's educational needs and goals.  We're hoping to have this completed within the next two weeks or so.

Why it's so important is that once we have Andy's IEP then a binder will be created to follow his IEP goals and plans.  This will provide Andy's EA (Educational Assistant or One to One) specific plans and programming goals for him.

I am soooooo excited for this IEP to be in place.  We're fortunate to have such a wonderful school staff that truly embody the collaborative approach with Andy's parents.  I'll keep posting and sharing our experiences with the IEP creation!

Dance like nobody is watching

Tonight I decided that we were going to have a dance party.  Emily and I have these parties quite regularly but we've never had Andy join us for longer than a stomp or two before he takes off.  I'm not quite sure what came over me (likely being trapped in the house with a sick boy, teething infant and a hubby who's away) but I decided that we were ALL going to dance.

This might sound like a simple activity to do with your four year old but not if your child has autism.  Spontaneity and free play are likely some of the scariest words for Andy.  Incredibly tonight it only took 20 minutes of Emily and I dancing like idiots for Andy to join us. 

It was truly a beautiful moment that I will never forget. 

Andy, Emily and I danced together for almost an hour.  Every time a song ended Emily demanded "MORE".  Andy just kept grinning from ear to ear.  He was loving Emily and I copying all of his moves.  It was so incredible that Dance Parties will now become a staple in our household on a weekly basis.

If you're wondering how we achieved our dancing success, here are some tips:

1. Music.  I broke out the big guns for music using Sesame Street and Sharon Lois and Bram.
2. Space.  A friend once told me that children will dance where there are open spaces.
3. Let go.  I let go of all of my own self-consciousness.  I danced like an idiot.  I over exaggerated every move I made, including using my old camp counselor persona "Crayola".
4. Patience.  I accepted that my timing would not be Andy's timing.  I had no preconceived idea of how long it would take for Andy to dance.
5. Encouragement.  I encouraged every move Andy made.  Even if it was the slightest gesture on his part, it was the biggest encouragement on my part.  
6. Confidence.  I did everything I could to bolster his confidence. 

So, be warned that the next time you're at our house...

Bring your dancing shoes

&

Dance like nobody's watching!

God's sense of humour

For those of you who read my post Anger and writer's block on Sunday you'll understand the irony of God's sense of humour.  I swear God waits for me to get angry, realize it and then remind me that perhaps I need to embrace my patience...instead of my anger!

Sunday afternoon Andy was hanging out on the couch playing with his iPad.  John sat down beside him and said 'Hi buddy'.  Ever so casually Andy replied 'Hi'.  I was so wrapped up in my anger that I didn't appreciate the moment at that time.

Have no fear, God is patient and just waited another day to give me another reminder.  Monday evening I'm on my way home from work and call John to check in on things at home (don't worry I was on my Bluetooth).  John tells me that earlier he was feeding the kids dinner.  All afternoon he'd been making a big deal about what they were having for dinner.

First they had tortillas chips, then veggies and then John asked Emily what they were having for dinner next.  As John turned and walked away to get the next course he hears Andy say "CHICKEN".  He stopped dead in his tracks.  Not only did Andy say a word we've never heard him say before, but he answered the question.

So I guess it's safe to say that I have officially let go of my anger and I am going to do my best to work on my patience.  Apparently it's a virtue that I've not quite got the hang of, but I am learning to forgive.

And for my not so 'zen' self...a moment of boasting....

Yeah Andy!

Once again you are my teacher in more ways then one.  

I am so lucky and grateful to have you.

Anger and writer's block

Yesterday I was talking to Marieke, another awesome ASD mom, and I think I finally realized why I haven't been writing as much as I was in the summer.  I'm angry...not an emotion that I'm used to or like to even admit that I've been feeling.  I'm pretty sure my anger has become the reason for my writer's block.

The realization of what the root cause of my anger came to me yesterday as well.  In August Andy's therapist left us suddenly and he has not recovered.  He is still struggling daily in a way we've never seen before and in some areas it seem to not be getting any better.

These are some of Andy's struggles:

• Andy's sleep since August has not returned to normal.  He is still often up through the night.  In fact, the past two nights he was up from 1-4am.
• Andy's verbal vocabulary has regressed in many ways.  It is slowly coming back, but not nearly at the pace or even the vocabulary he had in the summer.
• Andy's sensory needs are increasing.  We had been dismissed from OT and now are having to have the OT (Occupational Therapist) out to his JK class because Andy is constantly putting things in his mouth and it's increasing daily.
• Potty training is at a stand still and we're still having to prompt Andy to go almost 95% of the time.

I know I can't put all my anger on one person and I'm not.  Andy had an amazing therapist that did wonderful things with him.  He was thriving and moving forward at a pace we never expected.  For those reasons, I am and will be eternally grateful to her. 

However, I cannot deny that I'm angry that her having to leave suddenly has set Andy back months it seems.  I am hopeful that admitting and recognizing my anger will help me forgive and move on.  It's truly not the way I like to live my life.  I don't believe that holding onto anger or negative feelings lead to anything good.

I just hate to watch my child struggle when he was thriving for so long.  I know he'll get back to that point, I guess I'm just hoping it'll be sooner than later.